Chattanooga 

A friend of mine is moving to Chattanooga Tennessee today. I texted the following words of wisdom to him:

Pro tips for living in Tennessee:

1) end every conversation by saying “summbitch” this can also be used to fill awkward pauses.

2) every inanimate object must be described with the term “Dadgumm” example ” I just locked my dadgumm key in the dadgumm car so now I have to ride my dadgumm bike to the dadgumm store”

3) pull over to the side of the road, stop and pay proper respects to any passing funeral procession. If you fail to do so the next funeral may be yours.

4) there is a debate in some circles as to whether or not Memphis is really part of Tennessee. If you don’t know which side of the argument to be on just mumble “dadgumm Memphis, summbitch” most people will agree with that position.
Good luck

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