Like most Americans I don’t know a whole lot about Uruguay. I know that it is a country on the east coast of South America between Brazil and Argentina. I have no idea what the GDP is. I don’t know what their primary industry is, their main cash crop, or what the official flower of the country is. I don’t know how many people live in Uruguay, or the current political climate. Here’s what little I do know about this small country.
1. The nazis tried to hide a battleship there during WWII, they failed.
2. It shares a border with Paraguay (A country about which I know even less). Correction, it does not share a border with Paraguay. That shows you how much I know.
3. The national flag is blue and white stripes, with a gold star.
4. I have only met 3 people from Uruguay ever, apparently Uruguayans don’t get out much.
5. Uruguay once defeated Brazil in a soccer match to win the world cup. I believe that Brazil is still a bit upset about that matter.
6. If your first name is Braulio, there’s a pretty good chance that you’re from Uruguay
As you can see, I don’t know much about this small country, and I have done absolutely no research about it to improve my knowledge. So the question is, why write an article about Uruguay? The answer is simple, at some point in the future, Uruguay will be the origin of something terrible, and there’s nothing we can do to stop it. There are 2 facts about Uruguay that I have omitted until now, and they point to a logical conclusion. First, in 1972 an aircraft crashed in the Andes. The passengers were a team of rugby players from Uruguay. The survivors of that crash survived for 2 month by eating those that died in the crash. In 2014 during the soccer world cup Uruguay played in matches against England and Costa Rica without incident. During their match with Italy however, Uruguay player Luis Suarez bit Italian player Giorgio Chiellini. The first conclusion that can be drawn from this is that Uruguayan athletes find English cuisine too bland, Costa Rican food too spicy, Italian food is acceptable, but Uruguayan food is just right. The second conclusion is that nobody knows when the zombie apocalypse will happen but it will likely begin at a rugby or soccer match in Uruguay.